See You at the Finish Line

There are so many dream projects I would love to work on…

A remake of Back to the Future? I never want to see it, but I if they insist on remaking it, I’d be more than happy to write it. The only way to relaunch the franchise is to send a modern Marty McFly back to the eighties instead of the fifties.

For some reason I’ve always wanted to remake the 1977 film Rollercoaster. I remember seeing it as a kid and it scared me, but not enough to keep me away from rollercoasters. 

I would love to remake the 1980 film Midnight Madness with Jay Baruchel as Leon. I had this really strange idea for Commando 2 starring Alyssa Milano as Jenny Matrix, now a Navy Seal on a mission to rescue her missing father. Of course, I’d like to make my summer beach movie, whether it is A Halfway House Summer or an original idea I have like Senior Week. Oh yeah, and Airplane 3.

For fans of Wilber, not only do I have my pitch for the television show, I have a plan for a Wilber the Cat feature film.

If Lorne Michaels would give me the chance, I have a really cool idea for a film franchise that is centered around Saturday Night Live called Die Laughing. I might make that my next script.

In addition to a biopic about Layne Staley, I would also love the opportunity to write a movie about musician Benjamin Orr of the group, The Cars, who passed away in 2000 from pancreatic cancer.

I had a bunch of web series I started to develop. Hangover was a show that School Spirits producer Joe Canazaro and I were going to work on. We even filmed part of an episode starring Tweak Moffit from A Halfway House Christmas. Each episode, we planned on filming a different person getting drunk at the bar, followed by the hangover the next morning. This was long before the movie The Hangover came out. 

Cold Pizza was a spoof of the Kiefer Sutherland television show 24 about a pizza delivery guy. Each episode represented one pizza delivery and all the episodes of the season added up to one night for the driver. 

Weekend at Ozzy’s was going to be a spoof of Weekend at Bernie’s that featured heavy metal singer Ozzy Osbourne being found dead by a couple of his roadies. In the spirit of Weekend at Bernie’s, they trick all of Ozzy’s friends and relatives into believing he is still alive. Actually, the final joke was going to be that Ozzy was really alive.

I would love to work in a writer’s room at a television show. While no show will ever come close to Twin Peaks for me, other favorite recent shows of mine include Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Weeds and Entourage. I was so disappointed in the series finale for Entourage that I edited my own alternate ending for the show and posted it online.